Ups and Downs

                Hello, everyone. I’m sorry this is so late again; it has been quite a hectic week. No one thing has been particularly hard, but I’m starting up a bunch of activities at once, so I’ve been running around in ten different directions the majority of the time. It looks like the end of the week is going to be a little calmer, though, so hopefully I’ll have time to fit in all my studying.

                Because I’m only taking three classes at Harvard, not counting my thesis, class has actually taken up very little of my time and concentration thus far. I do like my classes, but it’s hard to keep track of your progress when most of the work consists solely of reading. I need to set the ball rolling on my thesis fairly soon as well – another project for the weekend – but that’s much less structured and thus, in my opinion, more enjoyable. As it turns out, I’ll also have to do independent study for German – the class isn’t offered this semester – so I’m still trying to find a way to track that.

                A much larger part of my week has been taking over major leadership positions in both Christian Impact and ROTC, and that familiar feeling of being in charge when everything goes haywire. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy being in charge of things. I think it’s the satisfaction of being able to organize something efficiently and execute it well that I find so appealing. Still, last-minute changes and unexpected obstacles will always raise the stress level. Everything turned out fine, though, and I don’t stress nearly as much as I used to about these sorts of things.

My workouts are going decently; of course, the hard part is always eating right. Harvard dining, in my opinion, has a much greater talent for desserts than for vegetables – but maybe I’m just biased toward desserts in the first place (aren’t we all). Not eating makes me a little grumpy, but workouts, unlike classes, give quantifiable results, so my fitness program is both stress-relieving and satisfying. One minor inconvenience: I tend to destroy my shoes every semester, so I have several new pairs that weren’t designed for rushing around from one crisis to another, with result that one of my ankles is a little swollen and my heels are pretty much destroyed. They’re being good sports about it, though.

My microwave and mini-fridge finally arrived yesterday, which added a lot of convenience to my life. I’ve also received many, many much-needed boxes from my parents – I need more stuff every year – and a lovely gift from a friend (thanks, Bekah!). I’ve also found a small mom-and-pop grocery store close to the Quad with a much better selection of tea than CVS, so my room is becoming homier all the time. Not only that, but it’s now cooled off enough that I can put bedding on my bed and sleep like a normal person, which is very exciting.

I’m not going to lie; it’s been a week of ups and downs. There were bright points but also crying sessions, and the roller coaster effect is amplified by the calorie deficit and sleep reduction. I am still getting up at five; not only do I not mind it anymore, but I positively enjoy it. When I’m worried about things, though, I have a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night, so I’ve been having a hard time getting all my hours in. Don’t worry; I’m getting lots of antioxidants from my vitamin C supplement and green tea!

But overall, despite the occasional outburst that makes me wonder if I’ve really matured at all over the last four years, the semester is starting off well. Things are still a little in flux, so I won’t have the full picture of the semester until probably next week, but at the moment, I’m optimistic. Here’s to another week of self-improvement and the best year of school yet!

Pictures: I've been trying to get this delivered since I got here - success!

On my way to class on a beautiful morning:

The familiar face of Harvard Square:

And more of Cambridge:

This cemetery is from the 1600s and has some important people in it, but I mainly think of it as a shuttle stop.

This might look like just a patch of grass, but for the past three years or so this has been a mud slough surrounded by various levels of construction equipment. Being able to see to the other side is very exciting.

Home sweet home:

Until next week!

Plans and Prospects

                I sometimes have trouble experiencing the called-for emotions that certain life events and stages are supposed to evoke, but this year I definitely feel like a senior. Watching all the freshmen come in, confused and carried away and very anxious to please, I realize just how far I’ve come. Now I’m the one giving advice and directions and (quasi-) wise counsel.

                I don’t know how many people shared my college experience, but I don’t think it’s uncommon. Freshmen year, I was doing hard things and studying all the time. Sophomore year (the half that wasn’t study abroad) I was doing about the same, not so much because I was excited, but because I needed to get it done. Freshmen year was overwhelming. Sophomore year was – well, kind of drudgery for a while there. Both leave the image of a bleak, gray existence – always winter and never Christmas.

                Study abroad turned everything upside-down, and that summer was the turning point. My junior year was full of sunshine and smiles and friends; I wasn’t afraid to take easier classes, and I was putting more effort into fewer extra-curriculars. Each stage of school for me has been the same – neutral to glum for the first year or so, but progressively better, until the final years were some of the best of my life.* So it’s been here – at least, I hope the trend continues, but so far I seem on track for a good, not-too-stressful year.

                Why am I in such a cheery mood? Well, for one, I just got my grades back from my summer courses – Pass with Honors and an A+ in my business courses and seminary course, respectively. More generally, though, I once again have a single room to myself, but this time it’s the size of a double – two closets, two windows, and lots of space. Also, I’ve finally learned a little homemaking, so I have my loose leaf tea and my tables and my decoration and my books to keep me company. The only thing that I don’t have is air conditioning, but it’s usually not a problem after the first couple of weeks. At the moment, I’m just sleeping without bedding and with the windows open.

                What am I up to for the semester? Well, for Harvard, I’m taking my thesis tutorial (more details later), logic (very math-intensive), American Government (general education requirement), and Roman Empire (because apparently, despite my major in Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations, Harvard thinks I lack exposure to classes on “Societies of the World”). I may also be auditing a German class – that’s still in the works. In ROTC, I’m taking advanced Navigation with the rest of the seniors, and for Seminary I’m taking Old Testament. I’m excited; it may sound like a lot, but I think it’s a good level of challenge. The spring semester should be a little easier.

                Besides classes, I’m taking on my role in ROTC as Command Master Chief, overseeing discipline and morale. ROTC doesn’t start until next week, so I’m not sure how much time that’s going to take. And in Christian Impact, I’m both leading the Worship Team (which has already kicked off, and for which I have many plans) and co-leading a LIFE Group (which will start in a week or two). I’m pretty excited about those, as well. And finally, over the summer I finally had time to get into a serious workout routine; I’m fitter now than I think I’ve ever been in my life. So I intend to keep working on that.

Overall, then, the year looks like it will hold little in the way of drudgery and much in the way of exciting plans and responsibilities. It’s possible I’ll look over this in a couple of months and laugh ironically – ‘if I’d only known’ – but at the moment, it seems like this last year of school might be the best yet. I’ll keep you posted!

*Obviously, these are generalizations, but if you want to look up the primary sources, my weekly journal is right here!

Pictures: I wasn't able to get my summer photos to load for my last post (thank you to my parents for filling the gap with theirs), so they're included here, too, which makes for - well, a lot, so enjoy!

San Diego:

 The Mexican food was amazing...

 As was the base gym.

 My gear all packed away inside my bunk (the top of the bed opens up for storage space):

 A friend and I went to the zoo while in port (free with a military ID).

 And of course there's the beach.

 Friends:

 Ready for a helicopter ride:

 Watching them test the guns:

 Underway Replenishment (UNREP):

 This is the day after I got my wisdom teeth out, by the way - you can see some swelling.

 Family vacation in the Grand Tetons:

 Cousins in town for my grandparents' anniversary:

 Sorry, these pictures aren't exactly in order... This is getting 5 of the 6 of us assigned to the nuclear section, waiting for the jet to take us back to California (it was about an hour late, so we had plenty of time for pictures).

 And we're back in Wyoming.

 This is one of my personal favorites.

 At the airport before I leave for my senior year at Harvard:

 Fresh Pond in a warm and sunny Cambridge (for now...):

 Okay, what you've probably been waiting for. I saved the best for last: room pictures!

 The tables are from packing boxes; I still had to throw a few away. Almost all of the tea supplies I obtained in the last couple of weeks, and I'm very happy about them.

 Hi from Harvard! Until next time!

Firsts and Lasts

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve written one of these! And here I am, on my last first day of school (kind of), sitting in the airport that’s become my second home, waiting for a plane. In this post I’ll talk about summer and going back, and my next post will begin my weekly updates.

My last summer was spent mostly at home, and I had a wonderful time. I wasn’t nearly as busy as I’ve been the past three summers; I had time to do a lot of the independent projects I’ve only been able to work on on-and-off before this. But there were some exciting events as well – let me tell you about them.

My parents came up to Boston to help me move my stuff home for the summer, and we went around Boston and went whale-watching and a few other things. We did a lot of walking; I was able to take them to the pond you may remember from my blogs of last year, and we walked around it and just talked. And then we came home.

The first part of the summer was spent back in Texas, recovering from a long junior semester as school that ended fairly well. I started the three crash-courses I was taking from Harvard Business School – Business Analytics, Economics, and Accounting – and I figured out I did not want to study accounting, but I did learn a great deal. I also started my seminary class in Biblical Ethics in Spanish, so I brushed up on my Spanish literacy.

By the middle of the summer, it was time for my Navy training cruise, so I headed out on the USS Carl Vincent for three weeks. The first part of the trip was mainly spent wandering around San Diego; since I was assigned to the Nuclear Department, but the reactor was shut down, and we weren’t cleared to go in yet, we had plenty of free time.

There were several adventures on cruise. There were the fun parts – getting to ride in a helicopter, being catapulted off the deck of the carrier, watching flight ops and reactor drills, watching San Diego’s synchronized firework displays from the flight deck for the Fourth of July, and working out at an amazing gym on base. Then there were the not-so-fun parts – having half the bathrooms on the ship break down (including all the showering facilities – another reason the gym was amazing), having night shift for the nuclear department and day shift for the normal midshipmen activities, getting lost on a normal basis, getting lost during mustering drills, and etc.

And of course, I couldn’t leave out my wisdom teeth surgery afloat, which I wasn’t planning until the day before it happened, but went off without a hitch. I had a lot of pain meds and not much food for the rest of cruise, and everyone thought the two of us who did it were crazy, but now I don’t have to worry about it (or paying for it) anymore, so I’m calling it a win. The oral surgeon and anesthesiologist did a great job, although for a while afterwards I wasn’t sure if it was the ship or me rocking back and forth.

The third part of the summer was centered around finishing up my summer classes and our family vacation in the Grand Tetons. We did a lot of hiking and a lot of sitting in the hot tub, but not much else. We celebrated both my 21^st birthday and my parents’ 33^rd anniversary during the trip. And of course, there were many lunches with friends and dinners with grandparents and hugs and greetings in church on Sunday mornings. If you’re reading this, I’m so glad I got to see all of you!

And now it’s back to Harvard for one more year. I’m already fairly certain of the classes I’m taking (you’ll remember that Harvard doesn’t make us set our classes until a week in), although I’m not sure of the times for all of them. I’m only taking one ROTC class this semester instead of two, and I’m not taking Arabic this semester, so hopefully I won’t be too overwhelmed, and I’ll have time to take on Worship Team for Christian Impact, my thesis, another seminary class, and a large ROTC billet in addition to my normal class schedule.

I’ve been reading back over my very first post on this blog, and even though it’s hard to see without stepping back, I can tell I’ve grown a great deal. I still remember the pain and bewilderment of leaving home for college for the first time, and still further back, the drudgery of heading back into school after a glorious summer of freedom in grade school.

This is, more or less, the official ending of those things – my last day of summer, ever, in a sense – but they’ve really already ended. I had just as much responsibility yesterday as I have today, just as many things to get done and worry about. I’ll have many more in the next few weeks to add on, but the weight dropping back onto my shoulders isn’t as much of a shock, because it never really left entirely.

It’s also lessened by the fact that I have things to be excited about this semester – things to plan, things to be in charge of, things to make better, things to make me better. You’ll hear a lot more about those in coming weeks; for now, wish me luck as I head off for my final fall of college, and I’ll keep you posted!

Pictures:

This is actually from the end of last semester - my parents brought my class ring up with them!

 My grandparents' anniversary was also this summer; the cousins came down.

 I saw both my grandmothers much more this summer than in previous years.

With half-an-hour's notice, Katie dropped by our house!

 Alright, time for family vacation photos:

 My beautiful parents...

 ... and more of me. ;)

 It was an incredibly beautiful place.

Until later this week!

Tea, Typing, and Parting Thoughts

                It’s hard to believe I’m writing yet another end-of-year blog; only one more after this, and then I’m out in the real world. As usual, I don’t feel like anything is ending, although outlining this meant pulling out my resolution sheets to once again analyze my progress this semester, which left me a little reflective. For now, it’s enough.

                My life at the moment consists of a lot of typing and a slightly alarming amount of tea – I’ve almost emptied my reserves. I’ve drafted both my final essays; I just need to revise them, take one more final, and I’m done with the year. I’ve attended a few events as well. On Thursday I attended a talk by Joe Letteri, the director of Weta Digital, which worked on everything from Lord of the Rings to Avatar to Batman v Superman. It was an interesting talk, and I enjoyed just sitting back and listening to how the digital effects were created, with illustrative clips from movies I like.

                On Friday I took a Sabbath and tried not to think about all the work I had left to do. I couldn’t seem to take an interest in any of my independent projects, though, and so I ended up spending most of the morning planning out a strategy for my ROTC billet next semester – I’m in charge of discipline and morale, which is going to be fun. I was brainstorming, and then systematizing, and somehow I ended up with a five-page document on my free day. And then I spent most of the afternoon watching animated Justice League movies. Apparently I like DC much better in animated form, although if you’d told me two weeks ago I would be watching animated superhero movies, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. Anyway, on Saturday I attended a training event for leadership in Christian Impact next semester; we heard a few talks on leading small groups and helping others develop, and then we brainstormed for next semester. It was a planning weekend.

                Before I give my reflections for the semester/year, I want to briefly overview my plans for the summer. I’ll be home most of the time, unless we plan a family trip or two. I’ll be taking a business overview course developed by Harvard; we’ll see how it goes, but I might want to entrepreneur someday, so it’s something to look into. I’ve also been accepted into the master’s program at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary; I’ll take my first course this summer, and I should finish by the time I’m out of the Navy. This isn’t so much for my future as for me; I know what I think about things, but it’s nice to put names to concepts and systematize my theology; I’m much more developed on the philosophy side of things. Oh, and one more thing – the courses are in Spanish, to add some extra spice. We’ll see how it goes. And of course, at some point in all of this I’ll be on cruise with the Navy, but I still don’t know when or where that is.

                My resolutions for the semester divided my personal development goals into three areas – internal, external, and interpersonal. The goals themselves are too many to enumerate here, but I think the categories are helpful. Internally, then, I’ve managed to be much more organized. Not only have I developed a fairly regular schedule, but I knew what I wanted to get out of the semester, besides classes, and I worked toward it. Those goals, and the vision they embody, gave me the energy to get done the things I needed to do. I have goals for my personal development and leadership during the semester, but even more than that, I have a much clearer idea of what I want to do in the future – and although it still doesn’t make much sense outside my head, it’s a source of unlimited energy.

                Externally, I still splurge more than I think is probably healthy, but I’ve gotten much better. I’ve stuck with my early to bed, early to rise schedule, and it’s served me well, though ROTC’s early-morning appointments made it less effective than it could have been. I’ve exercised more regularly than I have since high school, and my eating habits have improved. Most noticeably, nicer dress, makeup, jewelry, and etc. have become ingrained habits, which I’m happy about. I’ve also had more practice organizing logistics due to my leadership positions and a few trips into town of my own.

                Interpersonal relations are my Achilles’ heel; they take a lot of energy, and I still stick my foot in my mouth on a nearly-daily basis. This area always requires the most work, but it has to be balanced with developing the areas I actually like developing. Still, because of the opportunities I’ve had to lead and the concentrated focus on trying to be more encouraging to those around me, I think I probably notice the most progression in this area. Overall, between my leadership positions and my efforts to improve, progress is being made. There’s still a lot to be done, of course, but I can tell I’m more put-together and mature than I was at the beginning of the semester.

                Junior year has probably been the best year of college so far, and definitely so if we discount the outliers of study abroad. After the trudging work of the first three semesters and the revelatory release of study abroad, I was able to reevaluate and finally fit the pieces together. I’ve found my rhythm now, my way of organizing my life on my own; last semester I found my routine and vision, and this semester I began the drive to implement them. I’ve been very happy with the results. Maybe I’m a little late to the game, or maybe I’m a few years early; I don’t know. But I know where I’m going now, with a certainty that should outlast even the transition from college to career. We’ll see what the future holds.

Pictures: the weather alternates between beautiful sunlight and cold rain; at the moment, it's chosen the latter.

 The talk on Thursday (they didn't allow pictures during the presentation itself):

Sometimes I just have to look around and remind myself that I go to Harvard; it's difficult to remember how unattainably magical that thought used to seem.

 I eat very healthily - except for the sweet tooth.

 It's spring!

This is in one of the libraries. When you're feeling down, remember that Harvard students and faculty felt the need to write 'push' and 'pull' on their doors so as not to confuse themselves. And people still ignore the signs and push/pull the wrong way.

 This is entirely tea paraphernalia. It's a couple of inches deep.

 Until next semester, most likely! Bye for now, and see some of you very soon!