One down...

           Sorry this is a little later than usual; I thought things were going to get less busy during the last days of class, but I’ve been swamped. It’s mostly my own fault, not because I procrastinate but because I had, anticipating free time, developed a very heavy schedule for myself. I always overestimate the amount of time I’ll have available to do things. And so, in order to finish my goals, I’ve been working pretty non-stop the last few days. I’m enjoying it (not sarcasm), but I hope I can get everything done. You don’t really want to hear about my to-do list, though, do you? You want to hear what it was like to go home for Thanksgiving and come back. So we’ll move on to that.

Coming home for Thanksgiving was lovely; I was so happy to be able to spend time with my family. I was looking forward to Thanksgiving for most of November, but honestly, by the week right before, the anticipation had worn off. I was worried I wouldn’t be as excited as I should be when I saw my parents.

Once again, my emotions caught me by surprise. I didn’t realize how much I had missed my parents until I’d come down the escalator at the Austin airport and had them physically wrapped in my arms. I didn’t want to let go – and that’s only happened one or two times in my life; usually I’m the impatient one rolling my eyes over your shoulder.

I think that’s what Heaven will be like when we get there. We go along in this life, kind of numb, not really noticing our disconnect with God and all the things we’re missing, just kind of floating through, checking things off our to-do lists and occasionally stopping to take pictures. Things aren’t bad, but we won’t know what we’re really missing until we’re in the physical presence of our Father.

The holidays were a wonderful time, and due either to increased maturity on my part or awareness of the clock’s ticking on all our parts, I don’t think my parents and I fought at all. There weren’t even any minor disagreements or annoyances, as far as I remember. Hopefully that will keep up for the Christmas holidays – keep your fingers crossed.

The time spent at home also raised questions of what, exactly, “home” is. Several people told me that when I got back from the Thanksgiving holidays, it would feel like I was “coming back” to Harvard and not just “going back,” if you know what I mean. I would no longer be the dove grabbing a piece of twig and then flying back to home-sweet-ark. I would find a branch and settle there.

            In a way, they were right. It felt like I was returning to somewhere when I came back here. Once you live in a place a while, there are familiarities that make it ‘your territory’, that make it home. But I also felt I was returning when I went home – there’s something about the place you grew up in, a place that formed you even as you carved out your place in it, which resonates deeper than a room you’ve decorated for a few months. But perhaps the truest sort of home is not the sort you are born into, but the sort you create yourself. We’re not there yet, though. I’m just happy that for now, wherever I am, I’m home.

            And this home is bustling just about now, not with Christmas cheer, but with finals preparation. I have two projects and three finals to complete before I head home, along with all the other projects I’ve set myself in anticipation of this free time. At this point, I have all my daily goals written out on a piece of paper that’s the first thing I see when I wake up. And it just keeps getting more and more crowded. Well, two-and-a-half weeks, and it’ll be over.

            This is also the last week for ROTC. We had our Physical Fitness Test (PFT) this past Monday. I did fine, despite my loathing for mass starts on 1/8 mile tracks. As a very goal-oriented person, I have problems with the idea of constantly running away from the finish line. There’s also the fact that when doing 12 laps, I almost invariably lose count and mess up my pacing. All the same, it was a good finish, to be wrapped up with change of command on Wednesday.

            Everybody’s already busy planning for Spring Break and next summer, and I just want to get through the next couple of weeks. I’m planning, yes, but that’s in the background. Mostly, I’m concentrating on checking off those daily goals. And yes, this blog is one of them. So I’m going to post this and then move on to the next thing. For tonight, one down, two to go…

 PS: The pictures are 1: my room cleaned up and in stasis as I head out the door. 2: a cinnamon roll from Panera’s (significant because I, without realizing it until afterwards, went to Panera on my way to the airport and got the exact same thing as I ordered with my parents the first day here), 3: the hotel back in Texas the night before the airport, and 4: a fire in my own living room (I believe it was initially colder in Texas than it was in Boston), and 5: a pic of the Charles river from the T as I headed back to Harvard.